AILF

The Wilding - Benjamin Percy
I can understand why people might characterize Benjamin Percy 's novel as a a eco environmental novel, but it really isn't, or at least it wasn't for me. This finely wrought story is about how people cope with the expectations others lay on them. Fathers and sons, husbands and wives, people with whom we are convinced we are in love - we all perform to some expectation -- ours or theirs. Over the years, we develop coping skills so that there is peaceful co-existance. But Percy reminds us that tragedy, boredom, obsession can be a catalyst to move us off walking that center line. Some will survive and be stronger. Some will be torn apart. But few move forward unchanged. I loved this book. The characters were real and flawed without being caricatures set in a land grab, stop the development story. Ironically, I read this book on a flight to Seattle. Percy brought the right sort of balance to make we want to visit the Pacific Northwest and Oregon in particular, while also making me feel very much at home.


He's an Author I'd Like to Fuck.

Water

Listening to Transatlanticism by Death Cab for Cutie makes me think of water and longing for the warmth of summer and being naked swimming and the taste of a mans skin in water.

The Atlantic was born today and I'll tell you how

The clouds above opened up and let it out

I was standing on the surface of a perforated sphere

When the water filled every hole

And thousands upon thousands made an ocean

Making islands where no island should go

Oh, no

Most people were overjoyed; they took to their boats

I thought it less like a lake and more like a moat

The rhythm of my footsteps crossing flatlands to your door

Have been silenced forevermore

The distance is quite simply much too far for me to row

It seems farther than ever before

Oh, no

I need you so much closer

I need you so much closer

I need you so much closer

I need you so much closer

I need you so much closer

I need you so much closer

I need you so much closer

I need you so much closer

I need you so much closer

I need you so much closer

I need you so much closer

I need you so much closer

So come on, come on

So come on, come on

So come on, come on

So come on, come on

Ten Thousand Words

Love these lyrics from the Avett brothers

Ten thousand words swarm around my head

Ten million more in books written beneath my bed

I wrote or read them all when searchin' in the swarms

Still can't find out how to hold my hands

And I know you need me in the next room over

But I am stuck in here all paralyzed

For months I got myself in ruts 

Too much time spent in mirrors framed in yellow walls

Ain't it like most people? I'm no different

We love to talk on things we don't know about

Ain't it like most people? I'm no different

We love to talk on things we don't know about

And everyone around me shakes their head in disbelief

And says I'm too caught up

They say young is good and old is fine

And truth is cool but all that matters 

Is that you have your good times

But their good times come with prices

And I can't believe it when I hear the jokes they make

At anyone's expese except their own

Would they laugh if they knew who paid?

Ain't it like most people? I'm no different

We love to talk on things we don't know about

Ain't it like most people? I'm no different

We love to talk on things we don't know about

And after we are through ten years

Of making it to be the most of glorious day dues

I'll come back home without my things

'Cause the clothes I wore out there I will not wear 'round you

And they'll be quick to point out our shortcommings

And how the experts all have had their doubts

Ain't it like most people? I'm no different

We love to talk on things we don't know about

The Avett brothers

Grizzly Traps

I first met  Grizzly about four years ago. Tall bearish in all ways smoking hot bear, he stands tall, broad shouldered, with a full head of jet black hair that you just want to grab and bring close to you. His beard is not a metrosexual scruff, it is a full on beard that leaves my nuts, ass, nipples and lips marked after we are together. He lives in the Jackson Hole area and is partnered with an older guy I've never met. We meet once or twice a year but talk and email often. Grizzly brings out a side of me that is hot and animalistic but the guy is also a good friend. I know I can tell him anything. He's beginning to reciprocate. I'm anything but tenacious:)

I wish I could tell you how many loads I have spurted with Grizzly, but they number too damn many. When we aren't together, he will send me a video of him jerking off at work. This is a man who knows how to take his time in bed, but also, like me, realizes the need to cum to level out.

He knows his scent drives me crazy and he's the worst fucking tease about it. Hew will send me a ripe or seeded t-shirt or strap that he knows will be put to use. But he also knows exactly the moment to bring that out to push me to an edge.

His chest is expansive -- the kind you want to straddle with your hips and rest your head on in between sessions.

 He knows that kissing is hot and he knows how to use his mouth. He has this incredibly sexy way of breathing that makes me want to inhale his breath, to taste it.

His furry ass he loves to cover in sexy gear. The type of lover that keeps them on long into our play so that when they are discarded, if at all, they are soaked from rubbing my cock on him or licking and sucking him through the fabric.

His nuts are so hot and retain his scent even when I am showering him. His thick cock tastes like salt and sweat and well . . .him.

His torso is long and solid, but it is his stalwart thighs that drive me crazy. It is here that his core strength resides. He has no idea of his strength really or how unbelievable they look flexed and straight. I never tell him.

He cums furiously as if there is so much pent up desire, if I am not careful it will fly over my head. But nine times out of ten, it is trapped in his gear. Laying there for me to enjoy. A tangible reminder of the spirit he evokes from me.

But it is the times that I feel him breathe that I love. The blood coursing through his veins, the air filling his lungs, the smallest movements. Trapped.

College Hoops

Butler defeats Pitt in Upset in one of the craziest last two minutes of a NCAA tourney basketball game I can remember. Butler is once again riding a huge wave of enthusiasm and momentum and Pitt took a painful reminder of the mental investment in the game and what happens when you let yourself forget that.

It is what I love about the Big Tourney -- upsets, craziness, school spirit.

And yeah, the physicality this sport has come to embody. Also very cool, is that despite all of the emotion and anxiety at the end, it was refreshing to see players and coaches and refs on all sides speaking respectfully of their teams, coaches and seasons.

Long Live College Basketball.

Hit Me

he hit me

and it felt like a kiss.

he hit me

but it didn't hurt me.

he couldn't stand to hear me say

that i'd been with someone new,

and when i told him i had been untrue

he hit me

and it felt like a kiss.

he hit me

and i knew he loved me.

if he didn't care for me

i could have never made him mad

but he hit me,

and I was glad.

yes, he hit me

and it felt like a kiss.

he hit me

and I knew I loved him.

and then he took me in his arms

with all the tenderness there is,

and when he kissed me,

he made me his.

Grizzly Bear:  He Hit Me

The Mark He Leaves

The little things like the way he undresses and hands me his coat

The scent of his crotch and pits and the back of his neck

The way my cock slides effortlessly in and out of his mouth while I envision all the things I want to do

When our cocks exchange precum

I'll take your weight like this so I can have access to all of you

The warmth and invitation, and yes, the sigh

I know, I know

Wear the mark

Nice Guy Strikes Out

To read my blog, one might assume that I am getting laid left and right and that every time I walk down the street I am looking for a new encounter. The truth is I strike out as often as anyone else and sometimes in profound and rather hilarious ways.

Take my date with Gary for example. So here is a guy who owns a sports bar in NYC, so clearly into sports -- a big plus -- nice looking from his pic, good email exchange, seems like a solid guy. So I agree to meet him at his bar for a drink and check things out.

So I arrive at the bar and when he said small, I assumed larger than a  pillbox. Not so much. This place was fucking tiny. So much so, that after a few beers, I got up to take a leak -- the men's room was fully visible to the bar and not realizing that I had not shut the door properly, realized mid-piss that I was in fact, in full view of the entire bar. Smooth.

Anyway, the first thing I notice is that he wearing a rug -- not at all visible in the pic he had sent. Now, in principle, I don't have anything against this -- to each his own, but a man that isn't secure enough to recognize that he is losing his hair and deal with it is generally not the type of guy that I am going to be attracted to. Upon closer inspection, very nice, well developed, muscular body, cleft chin (sucker for those) full mouth and an easy manner about him. We strike up a good, if not not one-sided conversation where I did most of the talking. The bar filled up and he got distracted with other customers so I began chatting with the guys sitting near me, all of whom were there watching the Sox Yankees game last night.

At one point I realized that Gary wasn't even aware that my glass was empty, much less interested in me. When he served me my beer, he cautioned me about having to drive. WTF dude, it was one beer. And after my second beer, he informed me that he switched me down to a lower IPA that had less alcohol. I am 6'5 and 230 lbs. I can fucking handle my alcohol dick wad.

So now that guy is beginning to piss me off. So I get sort of bored and decide to leave. Oddly enough, the guy I was talking to watching the game said when I got up to put my coat on . . ."hey man, why are you leaving so soon?"

I leave kind of wondering what the fuck am I doing chasing these nutcases? So I figure what the fuck and  send him a note asking what gives. He answered me the next day . . .

"I'm sorry if I gave you the feeling that I was ignoring you last night.  Soon after you came in I had 4 or 5 guys come in that are there 4 or 5 nights a week so I needed to tend to them. You're a nice guy but I did not feel a sexual attraction."

Thanks dude. And did you learn your bar tending skills at the Hair Club for Men?

Am I bummed there was no attraction? Not in the least. Everyone is entitled to their groove - just man the fuck up and say so. And figures, he is a Met's fan. They all suck.

Now if I had only asked for that guys number watching the game . . .

Yeah, I'll never learn.

Go Phillies!

Berlin

God I love Black Rebel Motorcycle Club  -- it is the best music to run with -- here is Berlin

Have a little love, as were fighting with each other
aint no use in crying like the others
were fools in need, fools to believe,
there are fools in need, to foolish to believe

im gonna, uh somebody, uh somebody
uh somebody, uh somebody

here but dont you please, ive got time and time to bleed
it aint no use in trying to deceive
ive been fooled by the lover, fooled by the sinner, fooled myself into thinking i was living

im fighting just to breathe as i get back off my knees
help me somebody
help me somebody
im fighting just to breathe as i get back off my knees
im gonna, uh somebody, uh somebody, uh somebody, uh somebody

heavy little lovers, as were fighting with each other
aint no use in suffering like the others
were fools in need, fools to believe,
there are fools in need, to foolish to believe

im fighting just to breathe as i get back off my knees
help me somebody
help me somebody
im fighting just to breathe as i get back off my knees

im gonna, um somebody, um somebody, um somebody, um somebody, um somebodies gonna, somebody, hurt somebody,
um somebodies gonna, somebody

More lyrics: http://www.lyricsmania.com/berlin_lyrics_black_rebel_motorcycle_club.html
All about Black Rebel+Motorcycle+Club: http://www.musictory.com/music/Black+Rebel+Motorcycle+Club